Cranberry surprise

Jonas to Tomred: "If I didn't know your last name, I'd sleep with you- that's how good this is!"

Frowning exercise

Jonas: "It takes more muscles to frown so I just see it as exercise."

Weight Watchers

Bitsy: "Weight Watchers is not a diet. Just makes you make better choices."
Jonas: "Do they have Weight Watchers for sex?"

BMac: 'When Tomread cleans, he cleans like a Mexican trying to hold on to his job.'

Kristin: 'Sometimes I wonder if there is life on other planets if they have stupid meetings at work too.'

Purple Sorting Hat

BMac, responding to Holy Cross email:
Who is He Who Shall Not be Named? Mforni could be reused to spell Lord Nimfor, but I am not sure if I could arrange the letters that the sorting hat would recognize when he was a young lad and originally put him in the house of Healy, Mulledy, Wheeler, Hanselman using his Mama given name...

Tonal Languages

Fat McGee: "I would have a really hard time learning tonal languages. They'd be like - the only tone I'm getting from you is sarcasm."