I can't let it go without saying SOMETHING!
I don't think it's possible for anyone outside of Joseph to understand. By "understand" I mean feel what we feel in the "afterglow"(he he he) of our success- pride, fulfillment, fatigue - and that's just from the cast party! This show has demonstrated to all of us a greater lesson than any class we will ever take. It has proven that a Diet Coke junkie, a hairy buffalo, a crack baby (hubby!), a gay bosnian muslim, a horny fat cow, a "hyper hypo" choreographer, and a pissing musical director (among MANY other deviants) can blow six shows worth of people completely out of their seats and their minds. This supports my theory that creativity and individuality will take anyone just as far, if not farther, than conventional book smarts. Therefore, if my theory is correct, I have just spent the past five months or so with a group of some of the most successful people the world will ever see! And that, my friends, is amazing!
Love,
Kim
P.S. - John K.: Please, don't be scared. Someday, the emotional scars and the herpes will heal.
JIMMY: Funny how she was horny as a cow but not as a wife.
JOSE: Thanks Jimmy.
KIM: she wasn't horny because she was HAVING AN AFFAIR!!!
MATY: HOW COME I DIDN'T GET ANY NOOKIE, YO?!?! Sandra said I was "too deep" for her... COME ON SANDRA!
Come on, yo! Gary got more than I did... and he's gay!
The story of my life. =)
DEB: PLEASE! Come on now Matty! Your resorting to pity now in order to get someone to hook up with you? No wonder why you didn't get any play. I don't blame Sandra for having standards. Too bad there wasn't more of that standard thing floating around at the cast party. Feel the love!!
MATTY: Still, I feel somewhat responsible for creating what has been dubbed as a "Greek Orgy." I think that in the very least, I could've kissed a wookie!
RUS: I vaguely remember Choots calling himself Choothesa the wookie. Foreshadowing?? More foreshadowing?
MATTY: Deb, you left yourself wide open, but I'll decline my option to strike... =)
KIM: Come on, yo! I hooked up with Gary . . . and he's gay!
The story of my life. = )
KIM: I TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY!!!! IT'S OBVIOUS THAT ALL THE MALE AND FEMALE CAST MEMBERS COULDN'T KEEP THEIR HANDS OFF ME!
PHIL: Matty, Matty, Matty, You could have gotten play if you wanted it. You just didn't try hard enough. I mean, you could have hooked up with John Keller. Everyone else did. The poor boys still blushing. Of course he did give half the cast his cold . . . Does that make you a carrier John?
MATTY: The ACT Song...
N is for Nookie... that's good for ACT...
N is for Nookie... that's good for ACT...
N is for Nookie... that's good for ACT...
OH! Nookie Nookie Nookie starts with John K... apparently...
(repeat for Chris L, Joey C, and all the sexual deviants in our cast =))
MEG: Alright, I wanna know how come the guys are getting all the credit here! Come on girls, you left 'em smiling and John Keller certainly didn't achieve "stud" status on his own! Kim, Sandra, Christine- come take some credit for all this! :0) Love you all, meg
BRIAN: 1) GARY told me that he is sick of all the e-mails, so keep 'em coming!
2) So does this mean we're finally allowed to refer to KATE and JIMMY as "hooking-up"? Tune in next week to see if they're still hooking-up, but labeling it as "good friends"... yeah, you really had us fooled miss hughes
3) and the award goes to.... The Ladies of Joseph! sorry boys, but the hooking-up was all in their power. just imagine if the GUYS told BETH WATERS, "we're all going to kiss you now, and there's nothing you can do about it."
(maybe that's a far-fetched example...)
4) why didn't anyone tell me GARY is gay?
5) Alex H. takes dirty pics for his sick fanatasies...
CONGRATS TO ALL YOU PORN STARS!!!
CHRISTINE: The nookie never would have happened without the sexy dreamwomen...
I will take some credit for the crazy nookie and I will give props to my girls Meg, Jess, Sandra, Kim, Beth, Deb. Sorry if I missed anyone...I coulnd't watch you ALL!!!!
BETH: Thanks Brian! That is realy NICE ... sure, make fun of the cripple!
I am hurt! I am going to go cry now because of your endearing comments!
Love, Waters
KATE: jimmy and i hooked up?
BETH: I thought you hoked up with Lops? or was there more than ONE...eww kate, I can't imagine you hooked up with more than one person in a night ...SLUT
DEB: Listen gang! If we are gonna have final thoughts then let's have them be final. Otherwise just call them, thoughts on the ACT members' inability to control their horniness. Thak you.
PHIL: Meg, the reason the guys get all the credit is because a) we're all so cute and jumpable, b) we're your husbands and you love us, and c) did you really expect the guys to hook up with the girls? You dreamwomen were the ones who said "Male Orgy, women bring a date". ;)
JIMMY: I have an idea for the cast. Kira and I will be distributing rufees to the entire cast so we can all hook up this weekend and then forget about it so we don't write e-mails.
By the way, Sarah P. has requested that the party on Saturday be a "no pants party." Jodi agreed with her so they telegrammed Kevin H. and he said that it was in accordance with the ACT constitution. The dream continues. Who knew that Matty's "dream" was a wet one? I thought Rus was the only one who still got those.
Don't worry Lops, you will get one someday.
KIRA: Sounds like a great plan Jimmy.. Are you buying, or should I call my "friend"??
KIM: russell told me that meg mahoney wants to play TRUTH OR DARE at Beth's!!!!! I am extending my pinky and touching it to the corner of my mouth . . .
MEG: Hold on a minute....It seems like the only gay Bosnian Muslim on campus has some secrets he wants to share because that was HIS idea! :)
I just didn't object......
PS- In honor of Deb, and in the words of Brian, I am extending a new title to the people who truly are.... The Porn Stars
LOPS: Jimmy, I told you to keep that wet dream thing to yourself. Don't make me tell everyone about your impotence problem.
MATTY: Not only is there footage, Jimmy, but as of right now, I do believe there are multiple copies floating around on the internet... much like Pam Anderson/Tommy Lee home video footage.
Can't imagine who would've done that.
Love my rump,
Matty.
JOSE: Matty, we know you wanted a "multimedia" extravaganza, but most of us were under the impression that it only pertained to events occurring in the show.
SHAUN: Well, well, well my hormonal castmates....
No final thoughts from me, I will however dispense some party tips for the weekend...
1) Gary, your tactic in pretending to be gay isn't getting the attention of the ladies. Why don't you try the "oh-I'm-naive-and-innocent" approach? It seems to work for John K...
2) Alex, stay home and rent a porno, its cheaper than buying film...
3) Jimmy, perhaps someone should introduce you to Kate H., she's that little cute blond in the cast. Then again, I've heard she only remains strict friends with the guys she meets, maybe she's a lesbian...
4) Rus, drop the act... We know your name is Russell and that you're really from outside Pittsburgh, where you were the quarterback for your Catholic prep school. The gay thing didn't work for Gary, it won't work for you...
5) Beth, you don't hold season's passes for the "hook-up" ride like you do for Disney World. Limit your rides to only one per person, please...
6) Kira, I'm sorry, there are severe height restrictions on the "hook-up" ride. I'm afraid you just don't qualify. You can hang out with the stage crew...
7) If Tim P. asks you to "ride the potato chip" say, "no."
8) Try to emulate my saintly behavior if you ever hope to maintain your respectibility.
Well that is all the advice I have for now.
Have fun.
CHRISTINE: Lets be honest with ourselves guys...we don't NEED rufees.. It would just be a waste. Save them for someone who really needs them. Someone who just can't get any play...hmmmmmmmmm....I wonder who..
PHIL: Are you saying I should get the rufees from Kira?
It's alright. I've decided I'm going to become asexual anyway. Reproducing by budding is so much easier @ this school anyway.
MATTY: From:
Matthew Gregg
To:
Bob Henry, Ellen Keohane, Stephen King
Subject:
Message: I think the picture that ACT would prefer to have on the homepage of our school is this one:
Consider it, please.
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